If we accept the premise that nobody’s perfect, being in a happy romantic relationship is all about learning to take the good with the bad. For example, your boyfriend might like going to the horse track regularly, but if he’s an otherwise financially responsible and emotionally considerate person, you might be able to live with him playing the ponies. Likewise, my wife puts up with my numerous shortcomings as a human being in light of my many redeeming qualities, such as…umm…
But hey, we’re not here to talk about me! We’re here to talk about a woman whose boyfriend was obsessed with his anime crush, and wasn’t quite able to make up for it by calling his girlfriend a lazy pig.
Japanese animation is filled with women with exaggerated builds, but even among her pneumatic brethren, One Piece’s Nami really sticks out.
▼ From her chest
So we imagine the woman, who posted her story on website Kazoku Channel, was already feeling a bit of pressure when she found out her boyfriend was smitten with the orange-tressed anime pirate. She couldn’t have felt any better when her boyfriend told her that, in his mind, Nami’s body was what he thought the standard for a woman’s figure should be. “I told him there aren’t any real women with those proportions!” she recalls.
The boyfriend refused to give up on his fantasy, though, and one day showed his girlfriend a collection of pictures he’d found of foreign women who were indeed built like his anime crush. “He said I was a pig, that I didn’t try hard enough, and that I had the body of a lazy person. I may not look like a model, but at 160 centimeters tall and 53 kilograms (5 feet 3 inches and 117 pounds), I’m not fat, either.”
Needless to say, this didn’t sit well with the woman. “It’s a dirty way to do it, but I decided that he might come around if I made him feel the same way.” Adopting similar tactics, she armed herself with issues of three manga series: Fist of the North Star, Jungle King Tar-chan, and Otokojuku.
▼ Starring these three strapping young men
“Every time he’d look at Nami and say, ‘This is how a girl’s gotta be,’ I’d look at [Fist of the North Star antagonist] Raoh and say the same thing right back.”
▼ We think she means she’d say the same sort of thing, since insisting that a woman should look like Raoh seems even more unreasonable than that she look like Nami.
She also started collecting photos of foreign body builders and using them for her cell phone wallpaper. “Whenever he’d bust out the photo of the model he’d found and ask, ‘When are you going to look like this?’ I’d answer, ‘Around the time you look like this.’”
The girlfriend hoped that through voicing such excessively high physical expectations, her boyfriend would come to understand how she herself didn’t like being put in that position. Fighting fire with fire tends to just give you a bigger fire, though, and one day he snapped.“Shut up!” she remembers him yelling. “Men and women are different, and you’re the one we’re talking about now!”
While laughter seems like a pretty appropriate response to this hissy fit, the situation’s comedic potential only lasted until the boyfriend decided to punctuate his remarks byhitting her. Thankfully, he lacked the brute strength of the musclebound manga characters the woman had made a point of overtly ogling and she wasn’t seriously injured, though she now found herself wondering just why she should continue dating her boyfriend.
▼ Sorry, we got nothing.
After a month went by without the two seeing each other, during which the boyfriend continuously emailed her, they agreed to meet at a restaurant, along with a mutual friend, to talk things over. The girlfriend reiterated that she didn’t appreciate being compared physically to a sexualized and fictional character, to which the boyfriend once again whipped out his pictures of Nami-like models as proof that such women did exist in the real world. This backfired when the friend skewered his claim by reacting with, “This girl’s Photoshopped, isn’t she?”
Pulling out his own smartphone, the friend pulled up a website documenting how editing software can be used to turn an ordinary-looking girl into a super sexy seductress. “We didn’t find any of the same girls my boyfriend had shown me,” the woman recalls, “but the Photoshopped girls we saw had skin just like in his pictures.”
Convinced that her boyfriend was gullible as well as unreasonable and physically abusive, the woman stood up and left, ending the relationship then and there. “He emailed me again, but I got a buff guy to pretend to be my boyfriend and take a picture with me. I told him I’d found my ideal guy, to stop emailing me, and wished him luck in finding a Nami who isn’t Photoshopped.”
Given what a loser her ex is, though, we think Nami would be happier with Raoh.
▼ Just look how adorable they are together!